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Pick a piece of writing from your writer's notebook that has lots of emotions in it. If you cannot find a piece with emotion, add the emotion to your piece of choice. Think about Show, Not Tells, colors, Ba Da Bings, and Snapshots to bring your piece to life. Make the reader feels as if he or she is walking in your shoes.
18 comments:
A heart,a heart is a peace of love.Every one has to have a heart.heart can love care and much more but a heart is as jentall as a feather.A heart can be kind and a heart can be crushall
S.Z.
When my dog Ginger died I was just poring my eyes out.I loved her so much at night she came and sleeped.When alarm on my watch went off she would liked my face my brother trained her that.Back when I was a baby I use to sleep on her.After she died it was hard to sleep at night.But a few mouths later we got a new dog.Ginger died because when she was a puppy she had surgey on her intestins since they were twisted.We started to know that she dieing she started to not eat as much as she did before.By:C.T.P
Brandi by:Kendall B.
Brandi was adventurus,I said.She was sweet,big and soft.And only once ate our couch and all the other frunter.she slep by my side to make shure I was safe.Iwas dlighted to come home and her sniff us and bark and jump she would also lick.One New years and Independencs day she woud bark beacuse she dident like loud noies I would confort her and make shure she was safe returning the favior.she was my favoret dog no dog could mach up to her.After we got her ashes we sat down and sang a song for Brandi.
KEB
Nice story KEB. By:C.T.P
C.T.P
I like "I was pouring my eyes out
KEB
dear Kendall B. i like how you said
Brandi was adventureast
Your right a heart is a piece of love S.Z.By:C.T.P
S.Z
a heartis jentel as a feather
As I turned the corner I saw the my dad and my cusions bareing my dog big boy.I cried so much that my eyes was so red. He was a puffy dog he was about 5 years old I never know today would be the last day.
WHEN MY DOG DIED
When i saw my dog he was breathing fast i pet my dog Berman,that night my mom,dad and uncle i prayed and prayed they helped them my mom gave him a medicine for dogs my parents took him to the vet the next day i came from shcool but he was gone.
BH
Please comment on each other pieces with SPECIFIC feedback about which words you struck your soul.
As I turned the corner I saw the my dad and my cusions bareing my dog big boy.I cried so much that my eyes was so red. He was a puffy dog he was about 5 years old I never know today would be the last day. DD
wHen I saw my dog he was breathing fast I like that Bh By:C.T.P
As I turned the corner That's cools DD.By:C.T.P
i like thet wine you said your dog came and sleeped with tou
k.m.b.
one my dog hershes dide sarow was inside of me.it never left me.i kept on thanking and thanking will i die next.t.r
I like win you crushall and hearts bcuse with out hearts we wunt be hear today. B.C
SZ
I LIKE HOW YOU USED THE WORD
crushall
bh
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